An Indecisive Capricorn

I'm proud to say I'm a goat.

And while some people will deny they're anything like their supposed zodiac disposition, mine is pretty spot on. I'm ambitious to a fault and often can't find enough time to relax. I'm more of a rational than emotional person (aka I bottle that crap up until I feel like dealing with it), a bit of a control-freak, and planning should be my middle name. Pair all of this up with my crazy Latina ways and no-nonsense New Yorker attitude and it's safe to say I can be a difficult person to deal with on a bad day. On good days, which most days are, I'm a positive, people-loving nerd out to destroy the world with hard work and corny jokes. ​

Recently, I've been struggling with the "next step". My M.A. program ends in a year and I'm getting to the time where I have to decide what to apply for: Jobs, another grad program, etc. At one point in my life, I knew there were tons I wanted to do and I had resolved to do them after I finished school completely. But now I'm drained and feeling indecisive about what to do next. Taking a year or two off sounds great, but realistically I know it will drive me crazy. I took about 9 months off between undergrad and grad and I felt so anxious to be back in school.

A friend told me that I need to think back to the things I want to do and not let my tiredness transform into negativity about EVERYTHING. I think she's right. At 23, these are the years to change as much as possible and make the decisions I can't make at 40. This is also the time that I am learning more about myself every day, about what I want in my future and where I'm going. I need to embrace the change rather than freak out about what it will be. Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be a great experience for me. 

The good thing is that I have wonderful people talking me through this rut and I'm not going to let it ruin my summer! I'll be in Florida in three weeks and a few weeks after that will be road tripping back up to Illinois will my close friend and new roomie! I'M GONNA BE A DOG AUNT, YA'LL. I'm excited to see family, especially my nephew Momo <3, and get my tan back before the next Illinois tundra. 

Peace out!

​Crystal