Fade
poem by Jenica Lodde
How much do I weigh/after I’ve voided my bowels/before I’ve had my coffee/and how much do I weigh/after I’ve voided my bowels/ but also/ had my morning coffee/and how much do I weigh/at 3 o’clock when I’ve only eaten the edge off a slice of pizza/and how much do I weigh at midnight/when I haven’t eaten any bread/at all/and how much do I weigh/ in the morning/after eating salty salad dressing/and also how much does my heart weigh/they say the soul weighs one ounce/how much do I weigh after I’ve taken off my hair tie/or when I’ve left my panties on the bathroom floor/how much do I weigh when I’ve had a glass of lemon water/two days in a row/how come my flesh is so worthless/that I can improve myself by eliminating myself/how much does my/soul weigh/how much does my laughter cost/how much is my pussy worth/depends on the shade/what about my mouth/if you open the door for me does that mean/I’ve erased myself enough/to be noticed/does it mean that you’re saving me from a weight I can’t lift/am I light enough for you to carry me over the threshold/can you compare my waist to an apple/or a stem/evolution/you say/down back through the/time vortex/they all wanted the same thing/proportions/and ratios/making money/hand over fist/they want things that can be weighed and counted/they want/the right numbers/in the right places/they give everyone a number/they can’t measure the feeling/I give them/when they lose themselves/in the void/and their edges fade/and that makes them rage/back to the numbers/you make a fist so you don’t lose yourself/I break off my thorns/to turn myself into something/you want to hold.
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